Having reviewed so many songs from the 21st century, this week we reach back in time to the early days of recorded music. The radio-play-esque “The Fairy On the Christmas Tree” and Fats Waller’s “Swingin’ Them Jingle Bells” transport us to the 1930s, and we enjoy our stay.
This week, we look at two more Christmas comedy songs born on YouTube. First up is the criminally under-watched “Fuck You If You Don’t Like Christmas” by Crudbump, which might be our most explicit song ever. Then we peel back the layers of one Froggy Fresh, a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in John Cena pajamas, and his simply titled song, “Christmas”. Meet @drewtoothpaste on twitter in X mins if u want an ass kicking: https://twitter.com/drewtoothpaste/media
It may be a hot and humid outside, but it’s always sweater weather in our hearts. This week, listener Jenny points us toward an ode to Christmas gear from a highly unusual source – “Holiday Sweater” by the San Jose Sharks. We also consider a song about alternative festive threads – “Christmas Sweatz” by Rhett and Link.
Our theme quickly goes off the rails this week as we cover another Bing Crosby classic (but one we hate) and a recent pop original by Colbie Callait (also bad). Corrections to some of our statements in this episode: Hawai’i was invaded in 1893, not 1898 – it was annexed in 1898. The Hawai’ian language is considered vulnerable, but not dying. Heroin, like alcohol, does not cause hallucinations. We hope this has been an informative preview of the episode.
There’s a lot of music of one particular genre populating the bottom of our list: country music. This week we give country its fair shake by reviewing two country Christmas songs we actually like, “Hard Candy Christmas” by Dolly Parton and “Pretty Paper” by Willie Nelson. Grab your harmonica and get ready to get melancholy, y’all.
What do Summer Glau, Karl Malone, Lynda Carter, Banana Yoshimoto and our co-host Ian all have in common? They were all born on July 24th! In this week’s episode, we celebrate Ian’s birthday by listening to Christmas covers by The A-Teens (member Dhani Lennevald was born July 24, 1984) and actress Daveigh Chase (born July 24, 1990). Also mentioned in this episode: Jingle Bell Rocks, the documentary about Christmas music and it devotees, which we liked a lot! See the trailer here: http://jinglebellrocks.vhx.tv/
We’ve covered a number of crappy pop songs from the late 1990s and early 2000s on HARK. But the world of crappy original pop holiday music from this era is vast and diverse, as illustrated by this week’s songs, requested by Katelyn. Hilary Duff gives us the uninspiring but possibly science-fictional “Santa Claus Lane”, while Canadian wunderkinds The Moffatts deliver the maddeningly catchy “Earl the Christmas Squirrel”.
How did we decide to follow up our 50-song milestone extravaganza? With a double dose of Mariah Carey, of course! We cover the pop songstress’ modern Christmas classic (you know the one), as well as her more recent – and more peculiar – take on the New Year standard Auld Lang Syne.
In this very special milestone episode, our list hits 50 songs and we celebrate by attempting to knock out the top and bottom songs on the list! Ian and RJ surprise each other with their picks for the very best and very worst holiday songs, and joy and rage abound.
As Pride month comes to an end, RJ and Ian review and rank two gay-themed Christmas tunes. Queercore punk band Pansy Division’s “Homo Christmas” charms our pants off, while “RuPaul the Red Nosed Drag Queen” leaves some lingering questions.