Episode 389: Summer School

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Before we can fully embrace the season, Ian and Jam need to turn in some overdue assignments. We finally listened to a few long-languishing requests, and this episode is our essay comparing and contrasting them! “Our Last Christmas” by Thor and “I’m Spending Christmas Alone” by Future Wife both seem like melancholy ruminations on paper, but there’s more to interpret than at first glance. Grab your No. 2 pencils and stare wistfully out of a classroom window with us!

The ranking music in this episode was “Santa Says Relax” by Joe Innis and the Cavalcade.

Thank you to CJ and Charles for these requests, respectively!

Episode 388: Tooth Horror 2 (Teeth is Bones)

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It’s Jam from the present here. I’ve now gotten the tooth removed, so I’mma keep this short. The songs we listened to for this tooth-themed episode were “All I Want For Christmas is My Upper Plate” by Homer and Jethro and “Santa’s False Teeth” by Saint Etienne. Also, it turns out teeth AREN’T bones, but they ARE skeleton. You learn something new every day.

The ranking music is “My Shiny Teeth and Me” by Chip Skylark.

Episode 387: Larry Bird In a Pear Tree

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Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, and basketballers are basketballing. Listen, Ian knows what NBA event aligns with the release of this episode, but he’s in the other room and I’m on my own here. I’m gonna say the finals? Anyway, we celebrate with two bouncy Christmas tunes: “Christmas Slam Dunk” by Hot Dad and “Baby Wants a Basketball for Christmas” by The Living Sisters. Enjoy the part where we remember a totally different theme we fully planned out for this episode, and enjoy the other-other part where we excavate a specific episode of Doug from the depths of your subconscious, perhaps!

The ranking music in this episode is “Basketball” by Weezer, which is off of their Winter EP but unfortunately is not winter-y enough to qualify for this exercise.

Episode 386: A Stranger’s Just a Ghost Who Hasn’t Died Yet

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What makes someone goth? Is it wearing lots of black eyeliner? Or is it spending a lot of time thinking about what a good ghost you’d be? Hopefully it’s both, because we’re recognizing World Goth Day by listening to two versions of eyeliner-loving Finnish band Hanoi Rocks’s “Dead By X-Mas”. First we tackle the 1980s original, and then hear the ’00s update by Sohodolls.

A content note: self-harm and abuse are talked about in this episode. It would be difficult to discuss this song without doing so!

The ranking music in this episode is “Things Fall Apart” by Cristina.

Thank you to CJ for requesting the Sohodolls cover of “Dead By X-Mas”!

Episode 385: Songs About Birds About Christmas

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In honour of World Migratory Bird Day, we’re listening to two songs about birds! And also, Christmas! “The Gift” by Garth Brooks definitely has a bird in it, but beyond that, offers more questions than answers. “Christmas is For the Birds” by Conway Twitty and, uh, “His Little Friends”, has a decent amount of answers, and a decent amount of birds, but a distressingly low amount of Conway Twitty.

The ranking music in this episode is “The Christmas Song” as performed by Big Bird and the Swedish Chef. Also, here’s a link to an image of a masked lapwing.

Episode 384: Three Gees A-Maying

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As May approaches, we’re celebrating… May, I guess? May. Christmas songs that mention May? Yes. And no, not “May your days be merry and bright”. We’re talking MONTH OF MAY ONLY.

First up (appropriately enough) is “First of May” by The Bee Gees. Then we hear the endearingly baffling “When Was Jesus Born?” by Lil Gee (no relation).

The ranking music in this episode is “First of May” by Jonathan Coulton.

Episode 383: Keep the Weed in Weedmas

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It’s that time of year again! And for this rare holiday equinox which sees Easter, Passover, and 4/20 overlapping, we endeavor to cover some weed-tacular winter holiday songs with more of a religious connection than in previous years.

We find great joy in the sincere silliness of “Little Dealer Boy” performed by Willie Nelson and Stephen Colbert. Then, unfortunately, we really fucked up by listening to “Angels We Have Heard on High” by a band that we’re not even going to mention by name here because we don’t need that kind of heat. Suffice to say, they are definitey, definitely not Rastafarian, even if their t-shirt that says “Not a Rasta” in green, yellow, and red letters with a big lion winking on it is raising a lot of questions answered by the shirt. (Note: there’s also another artist featured on the song who we confused for a member of the band because she isn’t credited well on the youtube video, so we’re just going to go ahead and leave her out of this too.)

We would like to formally apologize for our failure. We promise next year to properly blaze it and keep the vibes chill and tight.

The ranking music in this episode is “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy” performed by Bing Crosby and David Bowie.

Episode 382: Blobby Cheekmas

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Blobby blobby blobby blobby! Blobby blobby? …Blobby. Blobby blobby blobby!

…Nah, just kidding. But we did listen to “Christmas in Blobbyland” by Mr. Blobby and friends, followed by “Cheeky Christmas” by the Cheeky Girls. See ya at Nandos, I guess!

The ranking music in this episode is “Brodyquest” by Neil Cicerega.

Thank you to Liam for these requests!

Episode 381: Pitchfork Might Break Your Heart

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Let’s get existential up in here!!! In this episode, we discuss two bummer songs beautifully delivered: “Christmas Eve Can Kill You” by the Everly Brothers, followed by “Christmas Will Break Your Heart” by LCD Soundsystem.

The ranking music in this episode is “Daft Punk Is Playing At My House” by LCD Soundsystem.

Episode 380: Our Everybodies, Our Everyselves

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International Women’s Day is right around the corner, and in this episode, women are taking the mic! Uh, a few women, anyway. Performing a pretty specific sub-category of songs. And they are all from the same one country. Regardless!! First, by request, we listen to “Merry Christmas Everybody”, a cover of Slade’s Christmas hit performed by Sohodolls. We pair it with another woman vocalist covering another UK Christmas #1 song, “Merry Christmas Everyone” performed by Rae Morris and Lucy Rose.

The ranking music in this episode is “Punk Rock Christmas” as performed by Majorettes.

Thank you to CJ for requesting “Merry Christmas Everybody” by Sohodolls!