Episode 374: Biblically Accurate Krampus

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It’s almost Saint Nicholas Day, which means it’s almost our anniversary, which means it’s almost Krampusnacht! We’re celebrating with two songs about Krampus. More specifically, we’re celebrating with two songs about being a horny little freak for Krampus. Sometimes that’s just how episode themes shake out, you know? First up is the campy parody “Krampus Daddy” by Jinkx Monsoon, followed by the cheerfully kinky “Krampus” by Golden Idols.

The ranking song in this episode is “Holiday Freak Shit” by Mila J.

Episode 373: Mrs. The Snowman

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With just a few short weeks until the winter holidays hit, Jam and Ian forgo Christmas music to instead ponder some questions posed by the most existential of winter symbols: snowpeople. Instead of reminding us of the inevibility of death, these snow-person songs ask us to ponder why we project our own cultural hegemonic order onto three balls of snow with some sticks in them. That’s the theme! Cultural hegemony vis-a-vis snowmen!! First up is “Hanukkah Snowman” by folk-punk artist Phranc, followed by “Snow People” by The Okee Dokee Brothers. Does Jam, for not the first time on the podcast, spend an extraordinary amount of the episode talking about the weird sequel to the Rankin-Bass Frosty the Snowman in which he gets married and also The Bible brings a snowparson to life? Guess, buddy.

The ranking music in this episode is “Winter Wonderland” by Earth, Wind & Fire.

Episode 372: Birthday Boi’s Video Game Pitch Meeting

It’s time to celebrate what is surely the most important and impactful event happening this week: Jam’s birthday! That means it’s BIRTHDAY BOI’S CHOICE time, and they have chosen two songs from our favourite difficult-to-search British electro-pop charity-Christmas-single-producing duo, Christmas Aguilera! Our discussion of “Santa’s Car” accidentally turns into a bit of a book report comparing and contrasting to other holiday tunes on similar themes, while our talking points re: “Christmas on Mars” quite intentionally turn to Jam’s grand adaptation ideas. Also: we sing a lot in this one!

The ranking music in this episode is also “Christmas on Mars” by Christmas Aguilera. It’s really good ok!!

Episode 371: Psychobilly, Qu’est-ce Que C’est?

It’s Halloween and we’re taking some EXTRA SPOOKY* requests! Two tracks off of the Psychobilly Christmas compilation album – “Halloween on X-Mas” by The Coffin Caddies and “Silent Night, Deadly Night” by The White Coffin Terror – attempt to inject some frights into the festive, but do they succeed? And isn’t there anyone who can tell Ian what psychobilly is all about??

*Spookiness results may vary. Twang not included.

The intro sting in this episode is “Main Titles (Beetlejuice)” composed by Danny Elfman, and the ranking music is “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)” performed by Harry Belafonte.

Thank you to Kevin for these requests!

Episode 370: Jesus Died For Our Crocodiles

Sometimes, when you do a year-round holiday music review podcast for nine years, you pitch a ridiculous idea and you kinda just gotta trust the process. We’re celebrating the fact that “Oct” sounds a little bit like “croc” with two crocodile-themed song selections! “Merry Christmas Baby (Please Don’t Die)” by Crocodiles and Dum Dum Girls wraps a gloomy sentiment in a cheerful (if somewhat hushed) package, while “The Christmas Crocodile” by The Big Cheese Band seems like a straightforward vehicle to launch a new Santa animal companion, but is actually a clown car full of one surprise after another.

The ranking music in this episode is “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John.

Stay safe this Croctober, y’all.

Episode 369: Taking Care of Nonsense

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Listen, at the time of this recording, Sabrina Carpenter’s album WAS at the top of the charts. She’s still near the top! Top-ish! WE REMAIN RELEVANT

In this episode, we discuss Sabrina Carpenter’s 2022 Christmas track (and soon-to-be basis of a Netflix special, apparently) “A Nonsense Christmas”, followed by the circa-2015 “Christmas the Whole Year Round”. Join us as we celebrate Carpenter’s musical journey, from pop production that projects virginity to the most dick-puns-per-minute song in the podcast’s history!

The ranking music in this episode is, of course, “Nonsense” by Sabrina Carpenter.

Episode 368: Lower Twang Quotient

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It’s back to school season and we’re back to taking listener requests! That’s not really the theme of the episode, but it is true. This week we cover two listener requests for two versions of the same song! First up, we listen to “Nothing But a Child” as performed by Robin and Linda Williams for the Prairie Home Christmas compilation album or audiobook or live broadcast or whatever the case may actually be. Then we visit the original (and much twangier) version by Steve Earle.

The ranking music in this episode is “A Baby Changes Everything” by Faith Hill.

Thank you to Patricia and Liam for these requests!

Episode 367: Our Podcast Got Run Over by Syllables

Hey, listen. As I’m writing this, Ian and Jam are both very jetlagged. They don’t remember why they thought covering these songs would be fun. It was a nightmare. August Got Run Over By a Reindeer is a nightmare in general. But hopefully, that’s fun for you, the listener. In honour of the Election Year (and because we gotta cover these versions of GGROBAR eventually), we listened to “Obama Got Run Over by a Reindeer” by Doc Pearson and “Kamala Got Run 0ver by a Reindeer” by…… (checks notes)….. Bubba Beige? I think that’s right.

The ranking music in this episode, and all August Got Run Over By a Reindeer (AGROBAR) episodes, is “Everything Sucks” by Reel Big Fish.

Episode 366: Our Podcast Got Run Over by Good Kerning

Savor with us, won’t you, the delectable second year of August Got Run Over By a Reindeer? The second year is the brief stage of a made-up tradition in which we could, if we had better judgment, back out: haha, that sure was a funny joke we made last year, an annual month of Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer related songs! By the third year, we’ll be in too deep; listener expectations will force us to continue. And yet, dear listeners, we have not opted to take this last exit. We stay the course. We persist. We drive on, like so many sleighs over so many grandmothers, down this lonesome highway once again.

The songs in this episode are, bafflingly, “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” by Elmo & Patsy and “Grandma’s Homemade Christmas Card” by Merle Haggard. It will make sense when you listen, I promise.

The ranking music in this episode, and all August Got Run Over By a Reindeer (AGROBAR) episodes, is “Everything Sucks” by Reel Big Fish.

Episode 365: Atoning for Our Ska Sins

It’s been almost a year, and the time has come. In August of 2023, Ian was incorrect about something. More incorrect than we usually are about things on this podcast. And so, we attempt to set things right by giving ska its due. Our ska education starts with Al and the Vibrators’ “Merry Christmas”, followed by Toots and the Maytals’ “Christmas Feeling Ska”.

The ranking music in this episode is “Polka Face” by Weird Al Yankovic. (For the record, Ian chose this.)