Episode 328: Brand Synergy

      No Comments on Episode 328: Brand Synergy

Valentine’s Day is approaching, and we’re celebrating with two tracks from one of our favorite (bad) holiday romcoms, Christmas in the City (2013). “You’re My Christmas” by Juliet Lyons may have been stuck in our heads for years now, but there’s still something a little off about it. After revisiting it, “Christmas Love” by Ashanti feels like a breath of fresh air.

The ranking music in this episode is “White Wedding” as performed by Juliet Lyons.

If you want to hear Jam experience more (bad) holiday romance, check out Book Club For Masochists new episode on February 7th!

Episode 327: Noodly Communion

      No Comments on Episode 327: Noodly Communion

New year, new requester! As suggested by a first-time requester, we listen to two songs off of an intriguing album by a new-to-us artist. “Listen the Snow is Falling” makes its third apperance on the show, this time as hauntingly performed by Thea Gilmore. Then we shoot the shit with Gilmore’s “That’ll Be Christmas”, which is, you know, pretty good!

The ranking music in this episode is “Christmas Unicorn” by Sufjan Stevens.

Thank you to Dusty for these requests!

Episode 326: Just Wild

      No Comments on Episode 326: Just Wild

For our first episode of 2023, we’re reflecting on the Christmas songs we heard in the wild during the recent holiday season! First up is the best of Kelly Clarkson’s several attempts to craft an heir to the All I Want For Christmas Is You crown, “Underneath the Tree”. Then – and you are going to have to trust us on the fact that we heard this song at a major retail chain – “Date With Santa” by Andreas Weise, which doesn’t pose a question as much as provide the answer to a question no one was asking. That question being, “What if Michael Buble wrote a song about Santa being a hot lady?”

The ranking music in this episode is “Stay a Little Longer Santa” by Shamekia Copeland.

Episode 325: Ten O’Clock and All is Hell

      No Comments on Episode 325: Ten O’Clock and All is Hell

We’re finally here, at that year-end vortex of holiday delights, and as always, we’ve got a new milestone episode to celebrate it! Ian is charged with finding the best song, and submits a mysterious tune that rides on vibes. Jam is in charge of finding the worst and, after whittling away some very terrible runners-up, presents a slurry mix of cynical shock-comedy and manipulative parasocial-relationship-baiting internet celebrity. Content warning: there is a prominent line in the second song about CSA.

The ranking music this week is “Maybe This Christmas” by Ron Sexsmith!

Episode 324: Subscribe to the Holidays

      No Comments on Episode 324: Subscribe to the Holidays

Hanukkah is almost here, and to celebrate, we’ve got two- wait a sec, our producers are saying something. They say that we didn’t do enough CanCon this year. Well, shoot, I guess we gotta scrap the songs that we were- what’s that? A producer is now telling me the two Hanukkah songs we’re listening to this episode ARE Canadian! Phew, that’s pretty convenient! “Happy Hanukkah” by Walk Off the Earth featuring Scott Helman and “Chanukah Christmas” by Shelley Posen bring us two different flavors of Canadian Chankuah celebrations in this- sorry, one moment. Uh huh, yup – a producer is letting me know that we also did this bit in the episode, and so doing it in the description doesn’t make chronological sense. Well, that’s unfotun- huh? What? “Happy Hanukkah” is originally a Matisyahu song but we didn’t realize that while recording because Walk Off the Earth doesn’t mention that in their video at all? Wow, thanks for the important correction, producers!

The ranking music in this episode is “The Journey Starts Today” by Walk Off the Earth.

Episode 323: Mistletoe and Fire

      No Comments on Episode 323: Mistletoe and Fire

It’s that thanking-time holiday in the United States, and so we’re expressing our gratitude for our long-time listeners – by covering a repeat requester’s request! Long-time listener Liam brings us two UK Christmas #1s from the 1980s, the somewhat perplexing “Mistletoe and Wine” by Cliff Richard and the more straightforwardly fun “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens.

The ranking music in this episode is “Burn the Witch” by Radiohead, for reasons.

Thank you to Liam for these requests!

Episode 322: Jam Jam Jam

      No Comments on Episode 322: Jam Jam Jam

It’s that most wonderful time of year again: BIRTHDAY BOI’S CHOICE. Jam is another year older and thus got to choose this episode’s songs! As is their right!! First they treat Ian to TLC’s delightful version of “Sleigh Ride”. Then they throw a curveball with “The Mistletoe Jam (Everybody Kiss Somebody)” by Luther Vandross, a song with a premise so intriguing and baffling that it makes us completely forget that it sounds like he’s saying “Missile Toejam”.

The ranking music in this episode is “No Scrubs” by TLC.

Episode 321: The Buttless Horseman

      No Comments on Episode 321: The Buttless Horseman

In this spoooOOOky episode, we listen to two Christmas songs by Halloween-y characters! By request, we’ve got The Cryptkeeper performing… (checks notes)… (sighs)… “Christmas Rap”. And then non-puppet Alice Cooper (along with other presumably human men John 5, Billy Sheean, and Vinny Appice) covers “Santa Claws is Coming to Town”. Did you see what they did there? No? You didn’t? Well, don’t worry, Alice has got your back.

Thank you to Charles for the request!

The intro/outro music in this episode is The Twilight Zone theme. The ranking music is “13 Nights of Halloween” by Elvira.

Episode 320: Second Chances

      No Comments on Episode 320: Second Chances

This epsiode was going to be themed around light, because Diwali is coming up soon? And then it kinda turned into being themed around requests from CJ, a longtime HARK listener. And theeeen it kind of turned into a third thing? We listened to “Donner and Blitzen” by Thor and “Bohemian Chanukah” by Six13, with open hearts and minds.

Some corrections: the light source is probably above them. Also we forgot about challah, and yes of course they already made it because they absolutely don’t know better.

The ranking music in this episode is “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. Thank you to CJ for the requests!

Episode 319: lofi eggnog beats to study to

      No Comments on Episode 319: lofi eggnog beats to study to

Eggnog Watch 2022 is well under way, and we’re taking on another mission – to find some eggnog tunes to groove to while you scan those shelves. “Six Cups of Eggnog” by Larry Costa certainly sounds classic and celebratory, but may be more concerned with what’s in the nog than the superlative drink itself. Thankfully, a visionary emerges to set us on the right path: “Time Travel Eggnog” by Eggnog Queen holds many important lessons for us, our listeners, and our list.

The ranking music in this episode is – yup! – “Time Travel Eggnog” by Eggnog Queen.