Episode 323: Mistletoe and Fire

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It’s that thanking-time holiday in the United States, and so we’re expressing our gratitude for our long-time listeners – by covering a repeat requester’s request! Long-time listener Liam brings us two UK Christmas #1s from the 1980s, the somewhat perplexing “Mistletoe and Wine” by Cliff Richard and the more straightforwardly fun “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens.

The ranking music in this episode is “Burn the Witch” by Radiohead, for reasons.

Thank you to Liam for these requests!

Episode 322: Jam Jam Jam

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It’s that most wonderful time of year again: BIRTHDAY BOI’S CHOICE. Jam is another year older and thus got to choose this episode’s songs! As is their right!! First they treat Ian to TLC’s delightful version of “Sleigh Ride”. Then they throw a curveball with “The Mistletoe Jam (Everybody Kiss Somebody)” by Luther Vandross, a song with a premise so intriguing and baffling that it makes us completely forget that it sounds like he’s saying “Missile Toejam”.

The ranking music in this episode is “No Scrubs” by TLC.

Episode 321: The Buttless Horseman

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In this spoooOOOky episode, we listen to two Christmas songs by Halloween-y characters! By request, we’ve got The Cryptkeeper performing… (checks notes)… (sighs)… “Christmas Rap”. And then non-puppet Alice Cooper (along with other presumably human men John 5, Billy Sheean, and Vinny Appice) covers “Santa Claws is Coming to Town”. Did you see what they did there? No? You didn’t? Well, don’t worry, Alice has got your back.

Thank you to Charles for the request!

The intro/outro music in this episode is The Twilight Zone theme. The ranking music is “13 Nights of Halloween” by Elvira.

Episode 320: Second Chances

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This epsiode was going to be themed around light, because Diwali is coming up soon? And then it kinda turned into being themed around requests from CJ, a longtime HARK listener. And theeeen it kind of turned into a third thing? We listened to “Donner and Blitzen” by Thor and “Bohemian Chanukah” by Six13, with open hearts and minds.

Some corrections: the light source is probably above them. Also we forgot about challah, and yes of course they already made it because they absolutely don’t know better.

The ranking music in this episode is “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. Thank you to CJ for the requests!

Episode 319: lofi eggnog beats to study to

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Eggnog Watch 2022 is well under way, and we’re taking on another mission – to find some eggnog tunes to groove to while you scan those shelves. “Six Cups of Eggnog” by Larry Costa certainly sounds classic and celebratory, but may be more concerned with what’s in the nog than the superlative drink itself. Thankfully, a visionary emerges to set us on the right path: “Time Travel Eggnog” by Eggnog Queen holds many important lessons for us, our listeners, and our list.

The ranking music in this episode is – yup! – “Time Travel Eggnog” by Eggnog Queen.

Episode 318: It’s Fall.

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Ian and Jam are back, baby, and IT’S FALL. So pull your scarves out of your closets, spice your pumpkins, and get ready to celebrate the High Holy Days. In honor of Rosh Hashana, we listen to “New Year” by Regina Spektor and “Intangible Things (A Hanukkah Song)” by Haley K. Turner. 

This week’s ranking music is “That Time” by Regina Spektor.

Episode 317: Fake Shark, Real Feelings

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We’re about to take a few weeks off, but before we do that, let’s cover some listener requests! While not themed, per se, they both deal with the hustle and bustle of the winter holiday season. “Winona Ryder Hates Christmas” by Fake Shark Real Zombie is a song that takes its inexplicably silly premise seriously, while “At Last, I’m Ready For Christmas” by Stan Rogers deftly injects some sincerity into a silly-sounding scenario.

The ranking music in this episode is “Dear Abby” by John Prine.

Thank you to Scott and Knut for these requests!

Episode 316: Elephants Are Forever

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Ian and Jam are back on their bullshit, celebrating a holiday you’ve never heard of with – what else? – Christmas music! It’s World Elephant Day, so join us as we merely skim the surface of the world of elephant-related Christmas music with “I Want an Elephant for Christmas” performed by the Peter Pan Caroleers and “I’d Like to Have an Elephant for Christmas” by Hank Thompson.

Our ranking music this episode is “I’d Like to Have an Elephant for Christmas” as performed by Goofy. You know, Goofy?

Episode 315: Birthday Vibes

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Ian’s birthday is this week, and so he’s choosing the songs! And he’s going for top 100 candidate kinda shit with the (mostly) touching lyrics of “Grateful for Christmas” by Hayes Carll and the (totally) smooth sounds of “I Dream of Christmas” by Norah Jones.

This episode’s ranking music is “Purple Snowflakes” by Marvin Gaye.

Episode 314: Hanukkah in July

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Here we are, more than half way through 2022… and we haven’t managed to add one dang Hanukkah song to the list! Ian and Jam remedy this with some seasonally appropriate warm weather Hanukkah tunes – “Hanukkah Hawaiian” by Regina Smoler and “Hanukkah in Santa Monica” (uh, no, not that one, a different one) by Mike Barnett and Allie Feder Kramer.

Our ranking music in this episode is, indeed, “Hanukkah in Santa Monica” by Tom Lehrer.

Also, one of the hosts is soft-launching a new name. Can you guess which one???