Episode 41: And a Tattoo of Christopher Lee

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Meedley meedley meedley meedley! This week we explore some hot licks in our first-ever foray into holiday metal. By Dave’s request, we cover the poorly named “Heavy Metal Christmas” by Twisted Sister. Then we heal those wounds with the soothing/awesome vocals of the late Christopher Lee. Check out our snazzy redesign at harkpodcast.tumblr.com! Also, we neglect to mention in this episode that RJ started a new twitter account related to the podcast: nihilist_abba.

Episode 39: Erotic Christmas Space Rodeo

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For World Space Week, RJ and Ian take on a request for “Christmas Tree”, a sexy beep-boop song by Lady Gaga and Space Cowboy. We then cleanse our ear-palates with the infectiously upbeat “Space Christmas” by Shonen Knife. Thank you to Dylan for requesting “Christmas Tree”. I guess. (We love you Dylan.) The War Rocket Ajax episode that we mention can be found here: http://www.warrocketajax.com/2013/12/23/episode-187-the-2013-yuletide-solstice-podmass-podcast-podbash-blast-bash-cast-jax-fmatt-fraction-and-maggie-serota/ As we’ve mentioned before, the WRA dudes have been a big inspiration to HARK, so definitely go give them a listen!

Episode 38: O Hanukkah Tree

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For “Maple Leaf Day”, an obscure Canadian cousin of Arbor Day, we’re celebrating trees. But expect the unexpected – sorry, no Tannenbaums. Instead, we review “Hanukkah Tree” by The Klezmatics, a Klezmer tune with lyrics penned by a famous goy, and a version of “Rockin Around the Christmas Tree” with a poorly-executed plot twist performed by Canadian sensations Michael BublĂ© and Carly Rae Jepsen.

Episode 37: Five Fraggles Rolling

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The Muppets’ return to TV may be in the news, but we’re keeping it old school. In honor of Jim Henson’s birthday, we discuss and rank two songs from the greatest Christmas specials of all time: John Denver and The Muppets: A Christmas Together, and RJ’s own personal Citizen Kane, A Muppet Family Christmas. In case you were wondering what quote made RJ cry, it was: “My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here.”

Episode 36: There’s No Place (For Hating Your Family) Like Home for the Holidays

Bite tongue. Deep breaths. Count to ten. Put in headphones. Listen to this podcast instead of having awkward interactions with family members. This week, we cover two songs about the misery of holiday togetherness: “Home For the Holidays” by Gentleman Auction House and “Just For Now” by Imogen Heap. Also: we experience a Christmas Miracle in September. Thank you to our #1 Fan Time Machine for requesting this week’s songs! Check out Time Machine’s podcast, “I’ll Show You”, at jessandjoshshowyou.squarespace.com!

Episode 34: The Ideal 1980s Doucebag

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In an attempt to populate the list with some underrepresented decades, Ian and RJ look to the pleasant, predictable Christmas classics of the 1940s and the abrasive holiday hits of the 1980s. Listen to us pontificate on the cultural status of Rudolph and puzzle over the inexplicable popularity of Max Headroom. Seriously, what was that dude’s deal?

Episode 33: Wild Speculation

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Having reviewed so many songs from the 21st century, this week we reach back in time to the early days of recorded music. The radio-play-esque “The Fairy On the Christmas Tree” and Fats Waller’s “Swingin’ Them Jingle Bells” transport us to the 1930s, and we enjoy our stay.

Episode 32: The Artist Formerly Known as Krispy Kreme

This week, we look at two more Christmas comedy songs born on YouTube. First up is the criminally under-watched “Fuck You If You Don’t Like Christmas” by Crudbump, which might be our most explicit song ever. Then we peel back the layers of one Froggy Fresh, a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in John Cena pajamas, and his simply titled song, “Christmas”. Meet @drewtoothpaste on twitter in X mins if u want an ass kicking: https://twitter.com/drewtoothpaste/media